Dulcet Emotives
by Dark Sadistic Angel
Summary: Heero and Duo are in a twisted relationship. Duo is abusive. Angst and violence.


2x1, Abusive Duo. Disclaimers apply. Violence.

Dulcet Emotive

By Dark Sadistic Angel

'The clear sky isn't blue, it's black. It's only when you turn your face from the too bright sun that you see that.' Duo jerked up Heero's head forcibly, pulling it up by grasping and pulling the roots of his hair hard. 'See? The blue of today is just another illusion. In reality there is nothing but emptiness.'

Heero smiled. Blood dripped out from the side of his mouth. 'Duo... I see the stars.'

Then he flipped his body backwards, kicking Duo in the back of his head as he lifted his leg up then down at an almost impossible angle. He curved and shifted away from Duo as the braided boy's grip loosened, somersaulting forward.. The other cursed as Heero slipped away from him. His vision was slightly blurred as he reached out to grasped Heero and failed. Instead he fell down roughly. His curses grew more descriptive as he got up awkwardly. The kick had been a good one.

'Running away Heero? I won't let you.'

Heero stood four metres from Duo. His chest was heaving a little and blood ran down his scalp, across his left face, covering a wide area. However he stood tall.

'I'm not running away Duo. You are.' He lifted one hand and wiped his left cheek, close to his eye. The smeared patch of skin was soon covered in red again. 'Look.' He held out his right hand and laid his left bloodied palm down on top. Then he smeared the blood on to the other. After they were both covered, his hands a shade of mixed pink and bright red, he held them both palm up. 'My hands are red. The blood comes from me. It comes from my wounds. What about you?'

They made no sense. They made no sense at all. Not to him. So why did the words seem to connect to something inside him? The words struck Duo harder than any blow he ever received. He opened his mouth. At first he could not speak. Then he swallowed, and the paralysis that froze his tongue disappeared. 'What the hell are you on about? I-'

'Don't lie. It's not you. You know exactly what I mean, so don't pretend.' Heero looked Duo straight in the eye. 'Don't run away.'

'I...' He could not respond. Instead he bowed his head wordlessly, biting his lip. Then he looked up again. With a hesitant step, he moved towards Heero, then with another, he drew closer. Slowly, he began to close the distance between them. Five steps, four steps, three, two... one. He stopped before the other, only a few centimetres away from contact. Heero continued to gaze at Duo, his clear blue eyes unflinching. They saw too much in him. Too much for him to feel comfortable with.

'I...' he began again. Suddenly something ripped inside him. 'I hate you!' With all his strength, he punched Heero. It connected hard with the other's jaw, and Heero fell backwards. The attack was as unexpected to him as it was to Duo, but Duo did not ponder on why he was attacking Heero. All he could do was feel the rage burning up his body, setting fire to his mind. 'I fucken hate you!' He kicked the downed boy. The brown hair boy attempted to rise, but Duo kicked his supporting arms from out under him, then aimed a powerful kick to his head. 'I hate, I hate, I hate- hate you!' He continued to kick Heero, who laid prone on the ground. After a while, Duo's kicks began to grow weaker as his rage drained away, leaving behind a fatigue tiredness in place of it. Heero made no moves to defend himself.

'I hate you...' The words were only a hoarse whisper now.

As the final angel leaked out of Duo, he collapsed beside the body. Then he noticed Heero was unnaturally still. He was not moving. At all. He was... Ice cold fear gripped his heart. Duo paled. No. No. He couldn't have...

'No... no... no!' Duo reached and grabbed Heero's shoulders clumsily. He pulled the limp body towards him. Heero's head lolled forward, his eyes closed. 'Oy, wake up.' He slapped Heero's cheeks lightly. The wetness of blood made the sound loud in the night silence. 'Wake up, stop faking. You never die. So don't.' Something crushed his chest. His actions grew more frantic as panic welled up inside him. 'No... you can't die....' he whispered in disbelief. 'Not like this... not because of me...' He clutched Heero tightly to his chest. 'Not because of me...'

There must have been some logical side still functioning in his brain. It was a side that had not been shutdown by the shock. It made his mind switch to an automatic mode, a process that saved him many times. All the emotions in him drained away as the mechanical mode took over. He began to think clearly as a cold, icy branch of logic cleared his scattered mind.

The first step was to get him breathing. Several pumps to one breath. He placed his hand over Heero's chest and began to press on it. Not there, too weak. Apparently a lower rib had broken, so he had to move his hands a little higher. Then he began compressing the still boy's chest. Two... one... breathe. He did not take in account the time it took him. Over and over again he repeated the procedure. Two.. one... breathe.

Then a miracle happened. Heero began to breath. Although his eyes were still closed, he was breathing. However he was not completely out of the danger zone. Duo suspected he had major internal bleeding. Whether in his head or other vital parts, he did not know, and that was dangerous. He pulled out his mobile. It was a simple flat piece of clear glass and plastic merged into a oval shape. Duo clicked the sole button and on the circular screen display, he tapped in the number for the ambulance with his thumb, informing the service of his whereabouts by simply attaching his location details. All in all, it took him less than three seconds to do so. Then he tilted Heero's head slightly as to make sure the boy's tongue did not obstruct his breathing. He did not move anything else. Instead he laid down beside Heero and watched the other's unconscious face as he waited. He shivered suddenly. Then he blacked out.

'He's coming around.'

'Duo? Duo can you hear me?'

A feminine voice in the darkness. His lids fluttered up. Sharp blinding white light seared his eyes.

'Hirde?'

'You know my name.' The short hair girl's eyes glistened tearfully. 'I'm so relieved.'

'Of course I know your name. Why wouldn't I? Stop- no, the first question I want to ask is about Heero. How is he?'

Hirde's face paled. She gnawed her lower lip and exchanged glances with a nearby nurse. Duo frowned at the look.

'Is there something wrong?'

'He's fine.' She replied.

'You're lying.' Duo said flatly. 'Tell me the truth Hirde. What's wrong with Heero?' He lifted himself on his elbow. Pain jabbed though his head. He swore as his head spun briefly before he steadied himself.

'You shouldn't exert-'

'What's wrong with Heero?' He cutted in. Duo's voice rose higher as a thought struck him. 'He's not dead, is he? That's not possible. I didn't let him die.'

'No. Although he is very battered, he is alive. He is not in a coma either.'

'Then what is wrong with him? What are you trying to keep from me? Hirde, you know I'll go myself to find out now if you don't tell me now.'

Hirde exchanged looks with the doctor. Then the doctor nodded.

'He has amnesia. He cannot recall any past events what so ever, not even his name or age. However,' the doctor looked a little nonplussed, 'he doesn't seem to display any signs of concern over it. It is very unusual.'

'Not really if you know Heero,' muttered Duo under his breath. It was too much like him. Heero had no fear of anything. Unfortunately.

'Now that you're awake, we can get started on that matter of finding the attackers. Unfortunately, due to Heero's loss of memory, we were unable to launch a search before.'

'That won't be necessary.'

'I beg your pardon?'

'The attacker is right here.'

Hirde frowned.

'What do you mean?'

'Exactly that Hirde,' said Duo tiredly. 'Now how soon can I see my victim? I want to make sure he's really okay.'

The doctor nodded slowly. Both of the two still looked puzzled at his words.

'He is awake. Let me give you a quick check first, before you get out of that bed.'

Duo waited impatiently as his body was checked. Hirde stood by him. She looked like she wanted to ask further questions, but Duo's visible irritation at the delay withheld her.

The examination did not take very long. Duo was allowed to exit his bed, watched over by the doctor as Hirde helped him towards door and out towards the hallway. The help was unnecessary, but Duo did not rejected the smaller girl's help.

They walked a little way down the hall, and Hirde paused before a door. She held up her hand to knock. Duo envelope the small fist in his hand before she did.

'Is this where Heero is?'

'Yes.' She blinked up at Duo.

'I'll take it from here alone, if you don't mind.'

Hirde opened her mouth to object.

'Please.'

The girl closed her mouth. She nodded.

'Just be careful Duo. Heero's in a fragile state, even if he doesn't show it. The doctors say not to be too upset if he doesn't remember you. He doesn't remember anyone. Try not to cause him more stress than necessary.'

Duo's lips tugged into a smile.

'Ah, got ya on that one.'

Hirde released Duo.

'I'll be down the hall, nearby the nurses station,' she looked searching into Duo's face. 'Try not to be too aggressive.'

Duo nodded. Hirde turned and left him before the door.

'I'm afraid that's much too late already,' he murmured.

He entered the room without knocking.

'Heero...' his voice trailed off as the brown hair boy looked up. There was no trace of recognition in his expression. There was not even curiosity at Duo's presence.

'That's what they call me,' he stated, without emotion. Heero looked away from Duo, out towards the window on his side.

'It's me. Duo.'

'Names don't have any meaning to me,' he spoke without turning his head. 'What are you to me?'

Duo took a step back. He opened his mouth. Then after a long moment, closed it again. He could not reply to the question. How could he descript the relation they had? It was too complex, too deep for any words.

'Oh. so that's it. I thought as much,' came Heero's low voice. He paused. 'Did we have sex?'

'Yes. Often.' Perhaps too often. And always when he was in a rage. Always when he was too angry to appreciate Heero. Always when he wanted to hurt him, and frequently did.

'Did we make love?'

'Didn't I just reply to that?' he tried to dodge the question.

Silence followed. Heero turned his head away from the window and faced Duo. 'Answer it. Don't avoid it.'

Duo looked away. 'I can't answer it.'

'You refuse to.'

At the sound of sheets being rustled, Duo looked back. Heero stood up in the hospital gown and reaching back, he undid the straps and then tossed the flimsy garment away. He bared himself before Duo. Naked, the bruises and cuts Duo had inflicted on him welled up purple and black on his body everywhere. There wasn't one place spared. Duo visibly whitened. It was horrible. He couldn't believe how bad it was. He had never seen the results so clear in daylight.

'You did this, didn't you?'

Duo's hands clenched and he shoved his fists inside the pockets of his jacket. But he did not look away. It was time he faced up to his deeds. And not run away.

'Yes, I did.'

Heero tilted his head, and touched the stitches there lightly with his fingers, then he trailed the hand down past the side of his face, down past his bruised neck, over his left nipple, down past his bandaged ribs and stopped it at his hips, next to his groin. Then he let the hand fall away.

'Was it punishment?' he inquired, his tone almost casual. 'Was I bad?'

'No.' Duo swallowed. 'It was abuse.'

Heero closed his eyes, then took a step back as if he was in deep pain. Concerned, Duo moved towards the youth.

'Don't come near me.' The eyes opened again. The Prussian blue depths blazed with anger and pain. 'I don't know who the hell you are now, and I want it to stay that way. Get the fuck away from me.'

Shocked, Duo reeled backwards at the sudden burst of emotion. He had never seen any thing like it before coming from Heero. It was raw, and deep, as if somehow losing his past memories exposed all the real inside of Heero. It seared him. It exploded through and burnt away his soul to mere charcoal, remnants of nothing. And the pain that Heero must have felt physically was amplified and solidified in it's place. He could not ask forgiveness. What he had done was unforgivable. So all that was left was to obey Heero's only demand from him. But he...

Duo hung his head, and reach back behind his neck. Feeling the familiar chain lock behind, he unlocked it. His fingers fumbled at it before the lock released. He had never taken it off before. Then he withdrew the heaviness from his neck, and clutched the necklace in his hand. The golden cross that hanged from it made a heavy weight. It was then he could look up and meet the blazing eyes of Heero.

'Here.'

He threw it at Heero. The metal necklace clinked in an untidy heap at the brown youth's feet. Heero had made no attempt to catch it.

'I don't want it.'

'Neither do I.' Duo pointed to the cross. 'I don't expect to be ever forgiven, so this why I am giving that to you. You need protection. I do not. If I wear that, it would be a mockery. So kept it. Throw it away if you want to. It's yours now.' He smiled then, a grim, self mocking twist of his lips. 'Do what you like with it. Good bye Heero, I wish you well.' Then he left.

He collapsed afterwards onto the bed. Panting slightly, he looked up at the ceiling and waited for his body to recover. The encounter with the recent stranger had frankly scared the hell out of him. He was fine without a name. He was fine not knowing anyone. He suspected it did not differ much from his past life. But the meeting with the long hair man had shook him more than waking up into an alien world had. Although he lacked mental memories of the stranger, his body remembered him well. Beyond the pain, there laid something beneath. It was that knowledge that frightened him.

The one called Duo was death himself.

His eyes slid to the floor where the cross laid. He shivered at the sight. Instinct told him to stay away from it, just as instinct told him that he needed to avoid the cross's owner. Nevertheless, he found himself moving off the bed towards it. He fell of the bed's edge and rolled over towards the cross. His bruised and sore arm reached out, seeking the cold metal. Heero retrieved it, and held it towards his chest.

'What are you to me?'

A threat to his sanity, an inner voice replied quietly. Which was why he had to stay away. Otherwise the cobalt blue depths will draw him into an ocean of hell.

But was hell really hell?

Fin.

DSA

_Whether they get together again or not.... is not addressed, but let's say they can't kill each other, but they can't live without each other. And neither of them is particular suicidal either._


End file.
